LIFESTYLE: Advice for football widows
Are you a football widow? Many women are and it’s something they either love or hate – being a football widow, that is, as opposed to the beautiful game.
Does your TV get dominated by the football?
For those girls that love it, the fact that their other half is obsessed with all things football related means they get time apart on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon to do the important things in life (for which please read “shopping”). Similarly, during the week, the endless League Cup, Champions League, FA Cup games and internationals mean there’s almost always something on.
But for those ladies whose lives are adversely affected in ways they aren’t happy with – it can be a quite genuine problem, all joking aside. Because there are men out there whose obsession with football is literally that; a true obsession – and no real obsession is ever healthy.
This means that things like days out, social evenings, meals out and even holidays are impacted by the fact that he “has” to be able to see the games and stay up with the news etc.
In these cases, then, one possible solution is the old “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” approach. For many of us, football just isn’t interesting at all, but there has to be something to it when half the word seems obsessed by it. So go along to a game or two, follow his team or one of your own choosing, perhaps engage in a little betting for your chosen to team to win the FA Cup even if it’s just for fun; all these tactics can kind of force your interest – then it may be something you can begin to enjoy together.
But if this kind of approach is just an impossibility for you to even contemplate – or perhaps for him to really contemplate, then you’ll have to try a different coping strategy. Perhaps talking to him about the way you feel and agreeing a few mitigating actions will work. Any relationship involves compromise and perhaps it’s not fair to be so demanding – particularly if he was already football mead when you first met? But if he’s a reasonable sort of chap, then agreeing a few ground rules and getting him to temper things a little should be practicable.
If he won’t budge at all, though, then try the tactic of doing things with other people at the time he’s watching the football; particularly social occasions that involve members of the opposite sex and are a million miles away from sitting in front of the goggle-box.
Evening classes can be creative outlets
For example, taking exercise classes, night school courses, doing cultural evenings, visiting museums and art galleries with a local group, joining a reading circle etc. All these types of social occasions will be slightly threatening to the footie-mad obsessive because they’re well outside his comfort zone – yet that very slightly threatening feel cannot be challenged by him; after all, you’ be happy if he joined you right?
And if this doesn’t work – at least you’ll learn a little about life and hopefully have a good time doing so – whilst meeting other interesting people for whom football is not the be all and end all.