Bali Beyond Myself: How Travelling as a Couple Shifted My Experience
Monday, 9 December 2024
I've written a lot about solo travel.
Between the backpacking adventure, moving to the other side of the world on a whim and my mum having a meltdown every time I say I'm going to go on holiday alone, it's defined so much of the past seven years of my life and taught me a lot about both myself, and the world I live in.
I love to travel solo, it's a part of who I am but now I’m lucky enough to have someone to join me on some of my trips; and it is an entirely different experience when he does.
Bali wasn’t just my adventure this time; it was ours. I've been forwards and backwards a lot in the last few years but this time felt like I was discovering it all over again.
Travelling with my boyfriend was different to being there alone. It wasn't compromises as such; just adjustments I was happy to make. It was a fresh take but I loved every moment of it.
One of the first things I noticed was the need to consider someone else’s preferences at every turn.
Normally, I’m up with the sun, but when I woke up 6 hours before he did on our first morning I didn't really know what to do with myself. I became aware that I couldn't (shouldn't) get up and go for breakfast at 5 am if I'm jet lagged like I have done in the past - so I grabbed my journal and tried to make sense of it all in the morning sunshine.
Otherwise, it was more of a good thing. I enjoyed having someone to discuss where to go for dinner with; and checking if he wanted to go the the spa at 10 am or 11 am wasn't exactly a huge problem.
The only time it did bother me was when I felt bad for changing plans - which was through no fault of his - but something I do very often when I'm solo. I had booked a cliff side hotel, like Rock n Reef because I know he loved being by the ocean. I just so happened to forget how anxious the stairs made me feel last time until we arrived again.
Usually I only have myself to consider so I would have bolted asap but I knew he liked it there so I didn't react as quickly. After the second anxiety attack however, I made the call to move hotels a day early. I felt guilty for prioritising myself, but decided it was the right thing to do because my reaction was so strong, it would have ruined the next two days for the both of us.
One thing I did miss, was the motorbike taxis. He wasn't keen, so we got cars everywhere but that was nothing in comparison to the good things being with my boyfriend brought.
Travelling with someone else gave me the opportunity to enjoy things I’d previously avoided.
Eight o'clock dinner reservations, wandering around after dark, and even drinking alcohol was suddenly safe in a way that never was when I was travelling alone, and that was something I really appreciated.
I also really enjoyed seeing Bali through Dan’s eyes. Watching him try my favourite foods, seeing him in awe of the spa I'd booked in the middle of the jungle and sharing some very unique accommodation with him made everything feel fresh again.
This trip really reinforced how I feel about the importance of our connection. Were a few months into our relationship now and having time together, away from the calls of every day life was my favourite part of being in Bali together. The deep conversations, memorable moments and shared happy memories were a daily occurrence that sadly we just don't have time for when were at home.
It wasn’t always easy to let go of some of my solo habits, but it was worth it for the time we spent together. Bali will always hold a special place in my heart, but this time, it’s not just because of the hotels, the food, or the long lazy afternoons, it’s because of who I got to share it with.