SLIDER

My experience making new friends as an adult in London

Tuesday, 15 October 2024

Making new friends in London is tough hey.

I've just moved to a different part of town and I don't know anyone. Again. My old friends are long gone and whilst I still have people dotted around, it's not helpful for last minute dinners or popping out and sharing a bottle of wine after a hard day.

But this isn’t the first time I’ve been in this position, so where do I start?

The same place I started last time. The internet. 

I’ve done it before, and I will do it again. At least this time, I have some direction and some motivation because I know it works. Facebook groups are the answer. Bumble BFF has also worked in the past, as has just going up to someone I thought might be interesting, in a bar but Facebook is my go to. 

There are thousands of other girls, like me, in these groups looking for people to hang out and build a connection with and this knowledge has changed my approach to making new friends. It’s no longer an impossible task, just one that will take a bit of effort in return for a big reward.

I've been in Chiswick for six weeks now and am very proud of myself. I’ve been proactive and arranged two group dinners (this is great because I get to pick the restaurant and explore the new area at the same time) and a few one-on-one outings and slowly but surely I am coming across people who I think I would like to be friends with.

It’s hard at the beginning because I don’t want to sit around making small talk, I want to have friends I can talk to in depth, about stupid things, intense feelings, emotions and opinions, good, bad & ridiculous, about people and things that are happening in my life, and vice versa. 

Whilst it’s always a little frustrating in the beginning, you can’t rush the process. Building real friendships take time, effort and lots of shared experiences - plus getting to know someone in the process, is fun in itself!
It's a very odd situation to be in and I can only compare it to dating. It's exciting but also scary. Did they like me? Do I want to see them again? Should I text first?!

And as well as being scary, it's hard work. You have to put in a lot of effort to make friends from nothing. Sometimes you can’t be bothered to explain who XY&Z is, or sometimes its raining and you just want to stay in bed. But staying in bed isn’t good for me and not having friends isn’t good for my mental health.

Because life in London is hard enough without having people you care about to offload on and share it with.
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